I will rather coach my children,Kalen DeBoer has just announced his contact termination regarding.
essay centered around the idea of preferring to coach one’s own children rather than entrust them to others, using the recent development of Kalen DeBoer terminating his contract as a timely point of reflection:
Will Rather Coach My Children”: A Personal Reflection on Kalen DeBoer’s Contract Termination
In a world increasingly driven by performance metrics, media pressure, and institutional expectations, recent headlines sometimes hit closer to home than expected. One such development is the announcement of Kalen DeBoer’s contract termination. While the reasons and implications of this decision are surely multifaceted and subject to analysis by sports analysts and fans alike, it also prompts deeper personal reflection for many of us who are raising young athletes or guiding children through their formative years.
DeBoer’s departure from a high-profile coaching role reminds me of an idea I’ve been holding onto more tightly in recent times: **I will rather coach my children.**
This statement is not meant as an indictment of all professional coaches—many are dedicated, inspiring individuals who pour their hearts into developing young athletes. Nor is it to assume that parents are always better suited than trained professionals. But rather, it’s a commitment to a deeper, more personal level of involvement in my children’s growth—not just in sports, but in life.
### Understanding the Value of Influence
When I say I would rather coach my children, I mean that I want to be the guiding voice that helps them navigate both victories and failures. Coaches have a profound influence on young minds. They teach discipline, teamwork, perseverance, and resilience. But they also carry the potential to either uplift or damage a child’s confidence and self-perception.
As Kalen DeBoer steps away from his coaching role, it’s a poignant moment to remember that coaching is not just about tactics and wins; it’s also about leadership, mentorship, and setting examples. If there’s anyone I trust to play that role in my children’s lives, it is me. Because at the end of the day, I know their hearts, their dreams, and their fears better than any outsider ever could.
### A Culture in Transition
College and professional sports have become billion-dollar industries. Coaches operate under immense pressure to deliver results, sometimes at the cost of athletes’ mental well-being. The stakes are high, the scrutiny is relentless, and in such a climate, even the most well-meaning coach can be forced to prioritize outcomes over individual development.
DeBoer’s departure may signal such pressures—whether stemming from institutional politics, personal choices, or professional redirection. Whatever the case, it highlights the volatility of the coaching profession. This only strengthens my resolve to be a more present and active mentor to my children. I don’t want my son or daughter’s formative experiences to hinge on the whims of a system that may not always have their best interests at heart.
### The Home as the First Locker Room
When I coach my children, I’m not just teaching them how to throw a ball or run a play. I’m building character, modeling patience, and teaching grace in defeat. I’m showing them how to win with humility and lose with dignity. The lessons start at home—from morning routines to dinner table conversations.
Even if my child goes on to play for a great coach in high school or college, my goal is to lay the foundation so firmly that no external force can shake it. That means taking the time to understand their emotional triggers, helping them process disappointments, and ensuring they know that their value is not defined by a scoreboard.
### A New Model of Coaching
Interestingly, more parents are stepping into coaching roles—not just in sports but in academics, arts, and emotional development. This isn’t about controlling our children’s paths but about co-creating them. It’s not about turning away from experts, but about being discerning in who we allow to influence our children.
There’s also a growing realization that coaching should be holistic. The best “coaches” in a child’s life may not have any formal title. They are the mentors who see potential in quiet moments. They are the parents who drive to early practices, the guardians who talk them through self-doubt, the siblings who challenge them to be better.
### Legacy Over Trophies
One of the most impactful things we can offer our children is our time. Unlike DeBoer, who may be stepping away due to circumstances beyond his control, I have the privilege to choose. I can choose to spend evenings in the backyard running drills, or weekends driving to tournaments, not because it adds to a résumé, but because it builds a relationship.
If coaching my child means we miss out on elite programs but strengthen our bond and their confidence, then it’s a trade I will always take. My goal isn’t to produce a professional athlete. My goal is to raise a human being with values, grit, empathy, and a sense of self-worth.
### Conclusion
Kalen DeBoer’s contract termination is a headline, but behind it lies a broader conversation about coaching, leadership, and the well-being of those we guide. For me, it serves as a timely reminder that the most consistent and loving coach my children will ever have can be found at home. I will rather coach my children—not because I have all the answers, but because I care enough to walk alongside them through all of life’s seasons.
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